Dear blog,

Here I am only hours after our breakup and I’m still okay. We talked for hours. We laughed about the good times. We cried about the bad. He said that he knew once I was okay with my family and I had a direction in life that our relationship would cease to have purpose. Yeah, we both are okay. I’m relieved that we aren’t fighting. We are good. I love him. He loves me. We just aren’t good together. We both know that and he just wanted me to be the one to say it. He is staying through the holidays, our last Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years together.

Everything happens for a reason. I needed him, he needed me. My family was torn apart and his parents were dying. He misses them, but He can handle the pain now. I have my family back. Our relationship served it’s purpose. 
He will always be in my life, He is my family too. I will always love him. The thought of being alone scares me, but I know we can do this. He has changed me. I’m a better person because of him. When he met me, I didn’t know how to drive, I was heavily using drugs and drinking all the time. I was living in a less than ideal situation with a bunch of gay guys that had more drama than Days of our Lives or General Hospital. 
I spent almost nine years trying to make our relationship “work”. That’s the thing, our relationship did work. It worked exactly the way it was supposed to. Not the way I wanted it to but the way it needed to work. We both needed to change and grow and we have.
We both got what we needed. Comfort in knowing we had someone there. Love because we never loved or will love like this before. That gut wrenching love that makes you lose sleep and your appetite. We had that! How many people can say that? 
I wish there was a picture of us together but we weren’t too keen on taking pictures. Maybe over the holidays we will finally take some. Our last holiday. . .
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