Let me begin by saying (as most of you already know) I truly believe that there are no coincidences in life. Absolutely every person place and thing, has a purpose. From the bottom of the ocean floor to the stars that are beyond our reach in a galaxy far away. I have no room for hate in my life, I’m too passionate, I’m too loyal, I’m too . . . what’s the word. . . enthusiastic??? Yep, that’s it, I’m too enthused about life to let the anger and hate of other people affect me negatively. The past few weeks, I have been over exerted, overwhelmed, under-slept, and I have let other people’s emotions rub my skin the wrong way. With work, school, home and the one thing I am most passionate about now, Voices for Children of Broward County (and the GALP) I found my self sleeping less, eating more and feeling physically and emotionally drained many times.
Today, on my ride home from work I saw a woman on the bus with her 2 young children. The woman was clearly distraught about something and the two kids sat very quietly next to her looking wearily around at the other people on the bus. The older of the two looks at me (a few seats away) and smiles. Didn’t smile at anyone else on the bus. . . but me. So, I smile back not the smile I give to people at work or the smile I give strangers on the street or my best friend when he’s being crazy. . . but a smile that lit up my insides and stopped all the thoughts in my head of work and stress from school and other crazy things going on in my life. I grabbed my bag and went and sat next to the small family and the mother looks up at me and gives me a nervous smile. I ask her where she is going, and before she could answer the older child says, “To our new apartment on the beach. It’s really nice there we live on the second floor and there is a play room and a church room and a kitchen so mom doesn’t have to cook everyday. The counselor lady says we will have our own place in no time but I like it there I don’t’ want to leave.” Again, the mother smiles nervously, obviously embarrassed by the things her child was saying and she says she’s sorry that he and answered. I told her not to apologize and introduced myself. She gave me her name and introduced her children. I knew the place. I nodded in understanding and asked if there was anything I could do to help her. Again, eager of being the man of the house the boy starts to answer what comes out of his mouth next send me miles out of my mind and brings tears to my eyes that I know I can’t contain. “Jesus, do you know him, he told me that we are doing just fine, he said mommy was a very strong lady and dad is in heaven with him helping take care of us. Are you and angel?” My heart skipped a beat. It felt like someone had taken my lungs and thrown them under the bus, I could not for the life of me find my wind. I though for a second I might pass out. I inhaled hard, as the warmth of my tears rolled down my cheek. I took the little man’s hand in mine and said a prayer in my heart, and said “I’m not an angel, but one day I hope I am. So, I’m training now.” I see the bus stop for the shelter approaching so I pull the line to request the stop. I quickly go to my purse and pull out the twenty-dollar bill I just got from the ATM, fold it up and put it in the mother’s hand, she starts to refuse but I insist, I said to her “I used to live in your apartments on the second floor too. The counselor lady told me the same thing and she was right. Your little man here is right too you know, you are doing just fine.” She stood up to get off the bus and turns to me, hugs me, and takes her two little boys off the bus. I closed my eyes and said “God, how many times have you showed me you are there? how many times have you proven to me that you are with me? you don’t give up do you?” When I opened my eyes I see the horizon, right where the sky meets the ocean. I realized that I am definitely headed in the right direction.
Buddha once said, “Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” He was definitely on to something. I don’t believe in God because my mom or society says I should, I didn’t believe in God at all for a long time, I believe in God because God has shown me that there is more to life than just what I can see. I believe in God because man has shown me that they cannot be left alone to run the world. I believe that charity and volunteering is the work of angels and saints in training.
Everything has meaning everyone has a purpose, even the people who live for making others suffer have a purpose. I think that their purpose is to bring out the Angels and Saints in training to rise up against that which is not conducive for the human race. So ask yourself this: What am I doing to help the human race? What am I doing to make the world a better place? Most importantly AM I AN ANGEL IN TRAINING?