For the past 8 years, we have shared our entire lives with each other, the good, the bad the beautiful the ugly. A bed, stupid movies, dumb TV shows, sporting events, shooting pool, cooking together, eating together, walking the beach, walking to the store at 1 am cuz he “need a forty”, traveling halfway across the country to be with my family, traveling back to start over, breaking up, getting back together, having a car, being on foot, losing a child, him losing his parents, me realizing no one will ever be there for me more than he was, him realizing I will never change, me realizing he will never change, accepting each other for who we are, deciding that who we are isn’t what either of us needs.

So here I sit, alone and thinking about what I could have done to change, what more could I have done. . . No one can or ever will be able to erase the memory of this man who made a real woman out of a young girl. No one will ever be able to replace the love that we made. I will never let anyone become my whole world as he did. I will never let my heart be this vulnerable or weak.

Advertisements