I wonder how long it’s going to take me:

to smile genuinely again

to love this deeply

to think clearly

to forget the sound of his voice

to forgive all the pain we caused each other

to not cry myself to sleep at night

to not think of him every day

to laugh at my own jokes again

to not look for him in a crowded place

to not reach out for him in bed

to not want to text him I love you for no reason

to walk in my place and expect to see him on the couch

to cook only for one

to hold my head up high

to think of him and smile instead of cry

to watch a game and not think of him

to eat anything and not think of him