I look at you and I really don’t know what this is anymore. You are all I know, you’re all I have. Just the thought of living everyday without you makes me feel confused and lost. I must say that I have a dilemma because the thought of spending another day at your side will kill both of us. My world has revolved around you for so long. to this day the minute you look at me that way I melt. When you ignore me and reject me, I want to run out and find someone who knows how to appreciate who I am and all I give. Sometimes I think that we will never be happy so I mentally pack my bags and walk out the door. They say you believe anything you tell yourself. I know I can make it. I know I can be without you, I know I will be fine, but there is a part of me that doesn’t ever want you to be apart from me. My thoughts clearly rationalize that the most logical next step is goodbye, but my heart knows no reason and tells me to stay because I have no one else to be there on those long lonely nights. I have no one to tell about my bad day at work, or how much I miss my mother even though she doesn’t deserve it. I’d have no one to argue with or to take care of, no one to worry or stress about. Thinking of being alone scares the hell out of me. Having no one to turn to when things go wrong. No one to love me when thats all that is left to do.

can’t be with or without you. . .

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