I don’t know where to start. . . I have that writers block thing but maybe if I babble about having writers block I might get a little something going. I guess I can state some facts. I love my mom, it’s a complicated issue LOL what am I talking about, my whole life is complicated. . . Fucking Novela (Soap Opera) . . . I could sit here and tell you that I’m okay and that things are headed in the right direction but I’d be lying. I have no idea if I’m okay. I can’t say of my life is going in the right direction. All I know is that my love for him has not changed. Ever. I can also say that the pain I’m feeling is real and strong. I can tell you that I’m glad things are happening the way they are. I know that it doesn’t matter what road we take as long as we get to our destination, wherever that is ?!?!? LOLz I know that there are a lot of things that need to change. I know I have a lot at stake if I don’t change them, and there’s not enough time to change it all. I know that before I can make those changes or any moves for that matter there is at least a handful of people I need to cut out of my life. I know that at least 3 of those people are goign to be very hurt that I’ve completely cut them out. . . their reaction may not be a good one either but sometimes you have to give up something you love to get to the other side. . . there is also a few people who I have to ‘screw over’ to get to that other side, and we all know that bridges burned are ones you can’t take back. I’m not saying they deserve to get ‘fucked’ but I’m also not saying they don’t . . . I know that a bigger and brighter future lies ahead of me  . . . somewhere . . . I truly wish things could be different. I’m not a user in anyway. . . but that is what will be said of me. . . fuck it! It is what it is. . . can’t change it. That’s just the way it is. So, world, BE READY! Those who have reaped will sow. . . those who have talked will be silenced. . . .  Then, life will go on . . .

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